Rewind Replay Repeat A Memoir of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Rewind Replay Repeat A Memoir of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
The revealing story of one man’s struggle with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and his hard-won recovery
Nagging doubt: It’s a part of everyday life. Who hasn’t doubled back to check on a door or appliance? But what if one check wasn’t enough? Nor two or three? And what if nagging doubt grew so intense that physical senses became all but useless? Such was the case for Jeff Bell, a husband, father, and highly successful radio news anchor—and one of the millions of Americans living with obsessive-compulsived disorder (OCD). Bell’s frank and forthright memoir recounts the depths to which this debilitating anxiety disorder reduced him—to driving his car in continuous circles, scouring his hands in scalding water, and endlessly rewinding, replaying, and repeating in his head even the most mundane daily experiences. Readers will learn what OCD feels like from the inside, and how healing from such a devastating condition is possible through therapy, determination, and the support of loved ones.
User Ratings and Reviews
5 Stars rewind, replay, repeat
This book was eye-opening to the struggles of the person with OCD. It was also hopeful, funny, and an enjoyable read. I loved it.
5 Stars Fascinating Read by SF Radio Personaltiy
Fascinating look into the world of OCD — spelled out in an informative, entertaining fashion.
4 Stars Good book, but limited in scope
This book contains some good stories about OCD experiences. However, reading a book that a therapist who also happens to be a recovering sufferer wrote was much more comprehensive. Different types of symptoms are elaborated upon and more treatment and self-help techniques are discussed in The Boy Who Finally Stopped Washing. I really enjoyed this book; it was very humorous and informative.
5 Stars See elements of yourself within the pages
I originally picked this gem up thinking it would be interesting to read from a psychological point of view. Once I started into it, though, I began to recognize certain elements of my own behavior. Though I would not say I am a full-blown OC, I do sometimes have obsessive-compulsive thoughts and behaviors (probably as most people do at some time in their life). Just the title and him referring to the tapes that keep replaying in his brain was enough for me to squash my own destructive thoughts. Whenever I start wasting time on obsessive thoughts, I just think of his analogy of the tapes that keep playing, then rewinding and replaying. I then choose to shut the tape player off. Very freeing! A courageous and interesting story. Thank you for sharing, Mr. Bell.!
5 Stars “A life steeped in uncertainty.”
Jeff Bell uses the metaphor of a tape player to describe his struggle with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder in his harrowing memoir, “Rewind, Replay, Repeat.” Bell has been a successful radio personality for many years, which makes his willingness to come clean about his illness all the more remarkable. He is a doubter, who states, “I have all five of my senses, but tend not to trust any of them.” Because he does not believe what he perceives, Bell mentally replays entire sequences of his life over and over again. He also revisits places to check that he has not harmed anyone or failed to do something essential. He calls his story “a tale of fear and torment and agony and shame.”
After experiencing a few OCD symptoms as a child, Bell enjoys a normal adolescence, goes on to college, earns an MBA, marries his college sweetheart, and starts a career in commercial radio. He and his wife, Samantha, have a little girl, Nicole. Everything is going wonderfully. Unfortunately, the peace of mind that he enjoyed for so many years is shattered when his OCD returns with a vengeance. He begins to obsess about a near-collision that occurs while he is piloting his father’s boat. He spends hours worrying about some minor damage that he may have inflicted on someone else’s cabin cruiser. Not only does he think about this event constantly, but he also visits the marina over and over to look for physical clues. This fixation on an unimportant incident takes over his life to such an extent that it begins to affect his marriage and his ability to concentrate at work. He stays up all night worrying, and his sleeplessness makes him groggy during the day. Rather than owning up to his condition, Bell makes a valiant effort to hide the truth from his colleagues, friends, and loved ones. He is living a double life and it is destroying him emotionally.
Even after he reluctantly shares his secret with his family and agrees to seek help, the first therapist that Bell consults has no useful answers for him. Although his devoted wife is steadfast in her support of her beleaguered husband, she finds his behavior increasingly unsettling. After sixteen months of “pent-up rage,” Bell curls up on the bathroom floor of his house and bawls like a baby. He is deteriorating and he has no idea what to do to make things better.
“Rewind, Replay, Repeat” illuminates the agonizing world of doubters and checkers–those unfortunate souls who cannot leave well enough alone. OCD sufferers include: the woman who must unlock her front door repeatedly to check the stove; the driver who feels compelled to circle the block to make sure that he didn’t run over a pedestrian; the terrified child who keeps asking his mother the same question a thousand times and is never satisfied with the answer; the washers who scrub their hands dozens of times a day until their skin is raw and painful; and the savers who hoard objects of no value until their homes resemble garbage dumps. Medical science has yet to pinpoint exactly what causes the brains of OCD patients to misfire.
This is an intensely personal, painfully honest, and extremely detailed look at one man’s journey into the abyss and back. After he learns that he has OCD, an incurable condition, Bell struggles for years to get his life under control with a combination of spiritual awakening, a support group, cognitive behavioral therapy, and drug treatment. “Rewind, Replay, Repeat” is an informative, touching, and vividly written first-person account that will give hope and comfort to OCD sufferers and their families. It is a welcome addition to other excellent non-fiction works on this subject that include the classic “The Boy Who Couldn’t Stop Washing” by Judith Rappaport and “Brain Lock” by Jeffrey Schwartz.
Filed under: Mental Health Books